Many spiritual teachers insist that when we express our desire to live purposefully and in joy, the Universe will reflect this in our experiences, often delivered in the most beautiful ways possible. Is it really that simple?

For those who have a rigid notion of what ‘living in purpose’ means, the life changes required can appear risky, scary and, at times, totally unrealistic.

Whether we seek escape from an unrewarding day job, long for a soul mate relationship or feel drawn to relocate to a new area, decisions must probably be made that will jeopardise our financial or emotional security and challenge the self imposed expectations resulting from social and familial conditioning. We may feel angry and trapped, experiencing resentment and bitterness towards life in general.

For others, however, it’s difficult to pinpoint what aspects of life need to change. There’s a simple sense of lack and we’re just not enjoying life to its full potential. This brings frustration and discontentments, making everything feel foggy and dull.

Strategies to break down our personal barriers to purposeful living can seem elusive and prove expensive – many on a long term quest to ‘live in purpose’ will admit to spending excessive amounts of cash on therapies, workshops and self-help books in the hope that the key to fulfilment is around the corner. For some, the journey feels endless – it’s one step forward and two steps back, and despite embracing the tough process of healing and change, a joyful, purposeful life seems as distant as ever.

From an Energy Healer’s perspective, clients for whom change seems elusive and who complain that their lives deliver disappointment almost always present with an unbalanced or blocked Higher Heart Chakra. In the majority of cases, the root of a Higher Heart issue is arguably the most significant personal barrier to ‘living in purpose’. While the Healer can offer the catalyst to render the client more open to change, an acknowledgement of personal responsibility and the determination to self-heal is essential in tackling this particular problem – low self esteem.

Low self esteem, whatever the cause, is linked to the everyday anxieties and irrational behaviours that hold us back from consciously bringing our dreams into reality and that keep our daily experiences ‘liveable’ rather than ‘loveable’. It keeps us separate from potentiality, asking us to expect failure and accept less in every scenario. It shrouds aspiration with guilt and clouds greatness with Ego, consistently nagging us into self sabotage and limitation.

With low self esteem, not only does ‘living in purpose’ seem like an unobtainable dream, it feels so far from reality we don’t believe we can ever truly experience it in the here and now. Emotional discomfort becomes the status quo and our negative beliefs about ourselves are reflected back in our life experiences – unfulfilling careers, abusive relationships and dysfunctional lifestyles are experienced by detached, numb individuals in a state of semi-consciousness.

In the worst cases, we become so detached from our aspirations that we can no longer recognise what our Soul yearns for, what makes us feel fulfilled and whole and what we really want from life. So it’s a vicious circle, and a downward spiral of fear and failure, and purpose is lost.

Making the conscious decision to ‘live in purpose’ is really only the first step to breaking the cycle. Seeking support from complementary therapies, such as Reiki and Seichem, from vibrational medicine, such as Homeopathy or Flower Remedies, or from the regular practice of Yoga or meditation can be helpful – achieving a clear, aligned energy anatomy is certainly important in terms of integrating body, mind and spirit.

However, understanding when and how low self esteem rears its ugly head is essential if we’re to learn the real life lessons from the karma it represents. Acknowledging each incident of low self esteem as a trigger that impairs the Higher Heart and seeing the resulting irrational, anxiety fuelled responses as the negative untruths they really are helps us access our true, authentic self. In this way, we naturally ease open and rebalance this important Chakra as we come to intuit what it is that really belongs in our lives.

As the authentic self is revealed and the balanced Higher Heart emerges, it becomes clear that there is no room for the limitations of low self esteem, that manifestation flows freely from positive intent and potentiality with choice is experienced in place of desperation and yearning. Life becomes joyful and exciting, every challenge represents an opportunity and free will becomes more aligned with the notions of Divine Timing and the Highest Good.

Living purposefully and in joy is not elusive, and certainly doesn’t belong in the dream world. And yes, the key is simple – unlock the Higher Heart and recognise the limitless path that lies ahead. Hold on tight to the ultimate high of the authentic self, and watch the personal demon that is low self esteem slink away and diminish, denied the nourishment provided by insecurities and limiting beliefs. Step into purpose with pride in this conscious choice – live the life you love, love the life you live.

Rhian Gibbings

With increasing awareness among pregnant women that natural birth without medical interference is better for mother and baby while intervention rates are high and caesarean remains an option in the spirit of informed choice, it’s not surprising that many women look back on their past experiences of birth and shudder.

Many women will recall their hospital photos with dismay, clearly recognising the shock and detachment in their own face, or realising they hardly feature in their baby albums because they felt so traumatised at the time, and the last thing they wanted to do was pose for the camera.

For some, the painful memories dissolve almost as soon as their baby is placed into their arms but many mothers are troubled by flashbacks of a traumatic birth, and the experience shapes their attitudes to breastfeeding, intimacy, the trust of others and even their relationship with their child. The women who fare worst are perhaps those who have been the most passionate about their role as a mother, determined to live up to the expectations they have set themselves to birth their child naturally and instinctively. 

Although the body heals with time, the shock delivered by the emotional trauma tends to remain deep rooted and the pain sits right at the core of the feminine centre, disempowering women and feeding negative concepts like low self esteem, a lack of self belief and fear of failure.

Experienced energy healers would usually agree that memories of a traumatic birth will be stored in the very cells of a woman’s body, constantly impairing the flow of their feminine life-force. If not released, the problem could eventually manifest as physical illness, most likely in the reproductive system, which is related to the Sacral Chakra. This will compound the ongoing energetic and emotional issues, leaving mothers with feelings of sadness, inadequacy and loss that are hard to ignore.

When difficult memories surface the use of self help techniques, such as formulating positive affirmations, can be handy. Admitting to a trusted friend or partner that there’s a problem is sometimes the first step in acknowledging that help is needed.

Hypnosis can be useful in releasing any past trauma, and an experienced Hypnotherapist can gently regress the woman to the circumstances of the difficult experience so that they can revise their attitudes towards the memories when they surface. There are other kinds of ‘journeying’ therapies that can also help, whereby the woman is guided into a trance-like state so that negative outcomes can literally be transformed into positive ones through accessing the unconscious mind.

Reiki and Seichem practitioners or those who use crystals to promote energetic balance find that a relaxed state is easily achieved during healing sessions. They might guide the woman through a gentle meditation while allowing the energy healing to catalyse a much needed vibrational shift. Crystals like Moonstone, Apache Tears or Jade might be selected to help heal the trauma of a difficult birth while Garnet, Carnelian or Red Coral might be chosen to help strengthen and re-energise the feminine centre.

If you’re the thoughtful type, it might seem interesting that through negative past experiences of birth, many women have the chance to understand the depths of despair that accompany the ‘feminine wound’ before they tread the path of re-empowerment. For those who choose to question why life has thrown this particular challenge in their face, maybe the answer is that they’ve been given the opportunity to re-birth themselves as part of the process.

Be honest, it’s hard to deny that our children offer us a huge opportunity for personal growth and change as they are catapulted into this world, whether it’s by fair means or foul. And in the end, the fact that we’ve chosen to grow through the tough life lesson of a traumatic birth becomes immaterial – to be granted a ticket to travel through the Divine Feminine Void and emerge reborn with self esteem, feminine courage and pride in the simple fact of one’s existence is a priceless gift indeed.

Rhian Gibbings